Taking a Leap of Faith- The Highs and Lows
As the title suggests, I took a huge leap of faith and decided to get up and leave everything I know to explore new opportunities in the Rockies, far from my East Coast life. This decision did not come lightly, nor has it been easy.
Since my early teenage years, I've dreamt of living somewhere new. Most recently, it had hit me hard when I realized my time in school, college, and my first job all happened within miles from where I grew up. I would constantly hit myself because instead of following my dreams of finding a new experience in a new place, I ended up being a hermit crab in my own home town.
Don't get me wrong. I have an amazing support system of close friends, favorite places to hang out, and an incredible family that is always there for me. Unfortunately, all those things kept interfering with my longing to create my own journey. So, I had to choose; my comfort and happiness, with a job that kept me decently happy, but never being fully satisfied, OR to test my faith and get some courage to see if the grass is greener on the other side.
So, I decided to quit my job, got a sales job that paid significantly less than anything I've had before, and rent a small place all on my own, in an area I had never visited but once before (to find a place to live), a quite literal change of scenery for me. I didn't want to be easy on myself, I wanted to challenge myself and see what I can do in a position so foreign to me. Will I sink or will I swim? So far, it's a drowning sensation.
My life has boiled down to two areas, one doing better than the other. I've split my time between myself and my career. Since my relationships would come out of these two things, I've purposefully have not spent time worrying, as my amazing support system would still be by my side, even though they aren't a car ride away anymore.
My job has been less than satisfying to say the least, and with only three weeks in, I've realized what a terrible mistake I made thinking sales and money would be easy for me. Newsflash= as confident as I am in my relationship skills, I most certainly do not have the edge to cold call and sell all day. I wear too much of my heart on my sleeve and although I've been "trained and conditioned" to not let my feelings be hurt in this job, it's much easier said than done. I've realized I am incredibly passionate about getting to know someone and helping them succeed and solve problems with them. Not that I didn't exactly know that already, but after three weeks of constantly dialing and getting yelled at, lied to, and almost hopeless, I realized my strengths are not being best served here. Sales is the art of persuasion and persistency, and I only have half of that. Had I been on the receiving end of the post-sale, I would be fantastic, since I love to fix issues and dig deeper into what someone wants, but that was not the opportunity that was presented, and for that, I can say I tried to see a new challenge and learned how to approach the next opportunity that comes.
So, as of now, I am sitting back on the next job hunt, hoping to find something that best serves my strength, while challenging me to step up to the plate. Thankfully, my personal time in Denver alone has been much more pleasant and satisfying. I went from never living alone, at my parents with food always on the table, to living with just myself and my pup, wondering what else I can cook besides heating up chicken and boiling pasta and rice. My worries are minor, but my learning opportunities are ABUNDANT. I feel like I'm finally stepping into my own, learning more about myself then I have the past five years. I stay as positive as I can, because I know it's much easier to change my attitude on my experience, then it is to change my entire experience again.
So, my leap of faith...is still in testing mode. I could throw in the towel based off the job alone and say, "Well, I tried this whole journey thing for three weeks, time to go back home to what I know." Comfort is easy, but it does not equate to total happiness. In order for me to find my own happiness, I just have to try again, and make a new plan on this journey. I will continue to pursue new opportunities until one caters to my strengths, and I will continue having a positive outlook from the inside-out on how this journey will shape me, so that when I am ready to come back home, I come back stronger and smarter.
So, although one part of my journey may have been less then what I had hoped it would be, especially this early on, I cannot wait for the opportunities that may come out of this, and will continue to take in the Rocky Mountain air, every breath I take. Never give up and turn around, just change your course, no matter how rough or smooth, just so long as you can get to the destination. I will appreciate the journey and bumps, because this is my journey train and I control where it goes.